Confessions of a Lost Soul.....

I probably should have titled this:Tales of a Trainwreck Lifestyle.Sometimes that is truly how I feel.In my lifetime I have endured some of the most painful things a young girl could go through like the few times i explained to you in this blog,not to mention the fights where i actually thought i could fight back,lol but serious.One fight that i will never forget was when I guess i made the wrong decision....He had the cash and his aunt had the credit,a normal procedure was for him to give her the money to either rent himself or him and her a rental for the week.this particular weekend they both had rented the new Impalas.He told his aunt and I to go ahead and chill,take a ride because "he had some business to take care of".We decided to do just that,we ended up riding around and riding through conkey avenue to see if her jamaican friend out and he was.she stopped and shot the shit with him briefly,then we took the money he had given her and went to grab us some soul food from a new restaraunt.When we got back to my "man's" house he was sitting on the porch looking sexy as ever with his charcoal skin,crisp white wifebeater,crisp jean shorts,white socks and open toed sandals looking like a straight up "Florida Boy"which he was.The box between my legs started to moistened....i was ready to sit on it,literally.When I stepped out the car he started walking towards me,I started smiling and he smirked at me,before I knew it he had punched me in my eye so hard I lost it.I started swinging wildly and his aunt jumped out of the car and grabbed him.she yelled for me to stop and back up but i wasn't feeling that while she held onto him i weld on his ass.he squirmed out of her lock and grabbed me by my hair and just started punching me all over my body.He dragged me up the stairs by my hair and took me in the house,once inside we went at it again,fighting,yelling,screaming.To sum it all up he whipped my ass.he made me go upstairs to his bedroom,once i got upstairs I went into the bathroom and could not believe what i had saw my eye swollen shut,lip swollen til its hanging,face just swole....I cried and cried til the tears stop coming...I heard him coming upstairs i darted over to the bedroom,I was scared.When he came in the room he nonchalantly said "yo Im tired of you trying me like im so punk ass nigga,im tired of that shit...you gonna make me kill your ass!!!!The room got silent,He starting walking towards me and grabbed me by my shoulders.he kissed me hard and once again he bit my bottom lip and i just stood there with tears streaking my face making my vision blurry by the second.I had the audacity to pull away from him,and then it happened.He punched me so hard my head went through the wall behind me.As I opened my eyes the white powdery substance starting falling in my eyes and mouth....I closed my eyes tightly and prayed that i was dreaming......Damn I Just Lost My Soul AGAIN!!