when is enough enough

I called him and asked him to bring someyhunh fkr the baby his diaper  rash. Its sad . he clearly sounded drunk. I want something different different.  I  have  to  work  hzrd just  like him.  I have  to  do  things for him when thingx dont don't  go  rright.  He wud ssy i do nothing.  Crazy.  😱 i want to be loved.
How do i get out of this mess ? How?  Really  how? ?
i made a phone call  tonight and asked jf i cud get some attention .  I  know  I  won't  go  the full mkle . I just want a distraction.

My nephew just got in the car. its amazing how being a youg man can be so different than being a young woman. He gets in pride nd freedom feeling snatched from him. He only understands his feelings and his thoughts on what he wants 

chasing Fools gold by Jill Scott

Its amazing how in life we actually for our reality based on illusions of what we want. We try quinching our thirst from wine instead of water.Wondering we we are never hydrated and satisfied.
How does one escape BONDAGE. How does one escape their MIND. THERE IS No Escape
I c just why ppl are so unhappy living through their senses
Attitudes constantly changing
Perceptions on life and lifes chagnges constantly changing
Here in the mind is the hardest to break free of and accept
We say learn to accept what God allows
Learn to deal with consequences of all our actions
And good and bad consequences that come from our actions

I whispered in my Aunti ear that if she is ready, to embrace it and have no fear
She told me that she ws scared but ready wow. she told me she just feared for her husband and his surgeries and she feared for her children not having themselves together. she told me she feared for her youngest being so far away. even though she is right in her home town.
I just don't to die with regrets. I dont wan to be n y death bed and say I wish i couldve doen this or i wasn't happy bout that. Life is so short and we have the POWER to impress on ourselves our FUTURE and our FATE. if and only if we can free ourselves from bondage.

Hmmmmmm it's amazing how i want to tell myself that i am free and i am lying to myself
I guess it's a process.
NJoy 

I hope Im waking

I look down at my swollen knee as i know today is the move day. Just yesterday I culdnt really decide where and what I want to do from here.
I am sick of his cheating, his lies, his lack of time, his drinking, his aggresion, ad his violent nasty mouth, and ways. Oh yea and his selfish ways, his me myself and i mentality.
LMAOso you wonder hy the hell am I still dealing. I ask myself that too.
I just want to be loved and i just want to be happy. Happiness is the key to success. I know this as i strive hard and warn out to reach my goals.