It has been a while, that situation was crazy. I had to go and get the whole procedure done over again. Not everything was taken out. The size of it was a lRge fetus. They came in and apologized for not knowing and evythin else.
Guess u kno they gave me some good drugs b4 lettin me go and forgot to take the iV out of my arm.
The American way is to sue ppl right, well that's what I am lookin n2.
The emergency room, the doc gave me two doses of morphine and a vicoden within 4 hours. I did not fall alseep b/c of the pain. He sent me home with the instruction to take percaset evy four hours. That was not wrkin. That's y I called the place again and they seen me. They tried to explain some b.s to me about emotional pain seeming like physical. I almos argued wit her. They did the altra sound and apologized for nit seeing ms sooner wen I called cryin the day before. They asked how cud the hospital send me home like that.

Well throughout the pain, crouchin over in agony I lay on the couch and heard the gas and electric ppl taking the box or somethin off the house. Pitiful. I jus had dreams bout that. I saw and knew they were comin.
We been I. The dark for a week. My next door neighbor let us use her plug for the fridge. She helped us for 5 days. I gave her $65. She see she was on a buyer and cudnt do it any longer.
O well we took all our freezer goods to my Dads and out a fee things from the fridge to my mothers aftr finding out it will take another 5 days to vet it cut back on.
How do I get n these messes.
I got a small little lump of $ the I insurance claim wen someone broke in and took my personal things. Things I cherish cuz memories.
Is it wrong to cling to memories so hard?
Whatevr
Back to the point.
Now it's 37 degrees and I have to stay warm.
I have thoughts of other things I'd like to share, but I always feel so insecure and scared about who will c them later.
Mayb soon not now. I jus feel trapped through This endless cycle of stupid and rash decisions. Where do I turn now.
I tol myself I will go on a 5 day fast this weekend. Can't wait.
Hopefully the cleansing will do. I am motivating myself for positive thought as well, that way things can really start manifesting n the direction I need them to go in.
Well I am beyond tired and I better jus get my things together to go to sleep.
NJoy

Knowledge is just Knowledge unless it's connected to Wisdom. You may consume good or bad knowledge, it's still just knowledge. many have plenty of knowledge yet still don't know what they are doing. All our issues comes from, not a lack of knowledge, but rather the lack of wisdom to process this knowledge. The issue then becomes if one understands that he or she don't know the quality of their knowledge. Also, if they even know or understand how to use such knowledge. Most in our society don't know what they are doing even with knowledge. It dosen't matter if you're a  Bum sleeping on a sidewalk or the CEO of a major Legal Firm, without wisdom as to how to use such knowledge, you still don't know what you're doing.
Now, another issues that we all face is thus; The hardest thing for a Man or Woman to admit is that He or She don't know what they are doing at any given time! Most people feel that if I let them see that I don't know, I'll be looked down on.You may be a Doctor, Lawyer, Teacher,Father or Mother, if you can't admit that you don't know what you are doing then you can't make it right! It takes a real Man or Woman to just stop and say, God, I really don't know what the hell I'm doing. Once anyone can reach this stage in life, then they've reached the first level of Enlightenment.Now one is free from the burden of trying and failing only because you just don't know what you're doing.Also there are those who don't know that they don't know.
It's no Sin, Crime or Less of a Human Being to admit that you don't know what you're doing! Once you can admit that you don't know,now you can start learning how to know.
Peace...
John Norris