So it's 8:15, the Grls r n the tub splashim around and wettin up the floor. It's time I stop bein so miserabl and heart broken from every direction. I mean like I sed b4 I can't keep cryin like I am a victim, especially if I jus sit there n get beat the hell up.
Lookin at them, and they deserve not to hav a care n the world. Everything shud b jus fine; cuz even wen interpreted like it's not okay, reality is it's jus fine.
I always tell myself it's not what happens it's how u handle the things that happen. Too bad I ant make myself follow through and behave wit that mind frame. I think I hav a habbit of initially gettin beat the hell up by my emotional self. Then once the beating he's good I say 'wait this ain't really what's going on'. I say that in my Hillary Banks voice, u kno from Fresh Prince. I cud watch reruns of that all day. I think I will.
Anyways....
I hear my oldest talkin bout stay n the tub I giv u a beer.
C I was jus gettin to that. I gotta stop bein miserable round my babies. Wen u do that they pik up on all those negative attitudes, and they begin to respond to everything n life, even the good coincidence wit a negative response. Disbelief that good cud happen to me sort of defeatous attitude. Yes I started screaming that n my head toward the end. I feel like that.
I'm too smart for depression. Jus feelings hurtin.
Well I hav to smile - vs- frow. My babies need that and deserve that from me.
Thanks for bein that ear
NJoy