when is enough enough

I called him and asked him to bring someyhunh fkr the baby his diaper  rash. Its sad . he clearly sounded drunk. I want something different different.  I  have  to  work  hzrd just  like him.  I have  to  do  things for him when thingx dont don't  go  rright.  He wud ssy i do nothing.  Crazy.  😱 i want to be loved.
How do i get out of this mess ? How?  Really  how? ?
i made a phone call  tonight and asked jf i cud get some attention .  I  know  I  won't  go  the full mkle . I just want a distraction.