Joy Stealers

Its imperative that you keep in mind where and why information that comes to you, is given to you. Everyone has an angle or a motive. People just be mad at him. Its amazing how many things I continue to hear about my husband. I think it's sad really. I did tell him that he has only one friend. I did tell him that. He thinks different or simply doesn't care because he feels that he has everything under wrap. Its sad that he does not like to listen.
Long story short I have been told about a diamond ring that I have been asking for and promised since before we had our son. I have been telling him over and over to buy his family a house, or at least help with that and he has bought a house in his whores town and it was told to me that he is saving for her deposit on her a house. The watch I wanted and asked for after last year me buying him a watch he gets her the watch for Valentine's or at least one like the one I wanted.
I'm embarrassed to say more. My husband feels that because I cheated 3 times yes I know LOL SMH during his 7 1/2 year bid that I deserve this. He says that no one said anything while I did what I did so why is it a problem that he does what he do.
Well the problem is that I would never cheat on him with him out here in this world helping me and being with me. Plus I never used him for the next person. No matter what when he needed me I have always been there I never moved on. Never put anyone other than our babies above them. I have always given in this relationship LOL.
I told him he should've told me last year that he met this woman again. Boy would things be different. One thing I am truly grateful for in not finding out till New Years Eve is my baby boy. I closed my eyes while riding one day and told him I see a son in my belly. I see the next Messiah. Wouldn't that be amazing? I told him I can feel it and I know he is going to be great.
I have to be on the road for great things so that I can set the stage for my babies. They have to know and see the sacrifice through me.
So as I write this I ask myself why am I still here? Why am I not tired yet? I want to be. I want to have him call and then just say whatever I'm not answering.
I want to be at the point where all I care about is the money that he brings to the table because boy don't I deserve it anyway. I have dedicated 13 years of my life to prison life and all he does is come home and show other women a good time. I should have not let him back in my bed again. I am shaking my head because I dare not tell close friends about this not at all. They're tired of him coming and going and me allowing it. They are tired of me falling for the lies over and over again. They hate that I hang on to the hope of the open comments and confused state he be in not wanting me but wanting no one else to have me.
I just have to learn to take things as they are without becoming stressed out anymore or being sad and miserable until I am in the position to put my foot down.
I had a good say until I got that phone call about him looking good and he has his woman looking good with matching kicks. I got pissed because he just told me he couldn't buy the car seat for the baby but he can buy him and his whore a pair of sneakers. Foul. Don't tell me you tight in money because you have to get my car out the shop when you buying footwear.
I have to say before I go anymore on the negative with ho that he does provide. He does make sure when I stay on him that we have the things that we need.
Joy Stealers They like to make me angry because he made them angry somehow. I found out who she was in the first place because someone told me.
At times I want to tell him who they are, but then I remember that he may continue to need them and his loyalty lies with someone else now. As long as no one tries to bring him harm or anything like that I'm good. I don't want to get in the way of him learning on his own.
I had a great day and it is still great. I will not let things that hear about him make my WHOLE day sour. It cuts however its what it is.
You nor anyone else will rob me of my joy.  

Making a 300 a Bently
Lmao. Sometimes really that's how you have to stop and look at it. The 300 cryslers are nice. Can't take anything away from em. You can put the rims on it to dress it up even more go get a different grill and all that and it's nice to ride. IT AINT AND NEVER WILL BE NO BENTLY. No matter how you dress it and make and build it up. What JoJo said? Once you've had the best you can't do better.
I guess that's also called loving the one you wit and not the one you want. That sucks.
It's ok. I am a top notch beautiful woman who cooks cleans and takes care of my children to the upmost ability and some.
I loose out on nothing. 

Ok as the founder of the blog I guess I can just do this things myself. My story is somewhat similar to NJoy's.
As I write you'll get to know me.
It's amazing how many blessings people choose to overlook. I am so caught up in what I don't have and the very few things that I want, that I can not c all that I do have. My vision I keep allowing to turn into nightmares cuz of what? A man? Really? Yes really.
:) I'm smiling because I am so very personal. I live writing all the time. I think poetry in my head as well as letters or speeches I should put on paper......
A dear friend of mine who I c now thinks the world of me, just stopped me in my tracks of uncovering more bad news and dirt on my husband. Who by the way I am currently separated from however he still calls the shots pretty much. What they say. I'm in love and he knows that but he uses the notion u pay to be the Boss. Lmao smh. Sad I know.
My supervisor stops me in my tracks and tells me to STOP and WAKEUP!!
All this motivational speaking I do for others has to spill into my soul. I have to hear it and know.
He tells me that I am this inspirational woman and DANG! Why am I so blind that I can not see that.
I am beautiful have a lil stomach but you can cook and clean and he tells you you are a great mother.
My supervisor tells me to stop and think for a second and just appreciate the fact that when I say that I am going to do something I make it happen. He told me he saw me manifest what comes out of my mouth many times over.
Other people are waiting to save money to have a plan and I have it in the bank. I'm approved and looking for a home right now while others are not even there. And this is my second home not the first one.
I really have to wake up. I have goals written down and I am following them but can not focus whole heartedly because I want someone else to love me the way I deserve to be loved. Held the way I deserved to be held and he is not and said he will not do that right now.
It's my choice to wait or put my foot down.
I am in the making of greatness. This here is just temporary. I'm told to look at what I have at my lowest. So really I can not imagine what my peak is. It's got to be nothing but greatness.
Ughhhhhh!!!! I scream from the pain and the burns of the fire. Eating crow and being humble is a huge practice and test of Faith and accountability and responsibility. Just eat crow until I get where I need to be. However I can not and will not stop living and loving me in the meanwhile.
The fire i feel is just the cleansing of all the rotten materials in me fire and heat kills it all. When I come out I will be a beautiful rock of gold.
I've been wanting to just spill out so here it is.
You can watch me through this struggle as a single mother conquering her pain heartaches struggles and accomplishing her goals. I can show you better than I can tell you.
I am asked for advise and motivation so here it is.
They say a Wise man can learn from others mistakes.
NJoy
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